Archive for 'The Offical Record' Category
I LOVE TIVO.
26 September 2003I wish that I could ever love another human being as much as I love my TiVo, and also have them love me back as much as my TiVo loves me. I bought one of the first TiVos when it first came out four and a half years ago, for $1,200. About a year later, […]
DID ATTORNEY GENERAL ASHCROFT AND PRESIDENT BUSH MAKE A SECRET DEAL?
23 September 2003Okay, remember the disputed 2000 Presidential election? Well, there was also a disputed Senatorial election– between Senator John Ashcroft and the Ghost of Mel Carnahan. That is, Mel Carnahan had died shortly before the election, too late for another candidate to replace him on the ballot. The Governor of Missouri pledged to name Mel Carnahan’s […]
WEST WING SNEAK PREVIEW.
23 September 2003I was watching an old rerun of the NBC series The West Wing on Bravo. It was Episode #106, Mr. Willis of Ohio, and in it, President Bartlet makes this incredibly prescient prediction, that summarizes the events in the last season finale, and, I presume, the season opener this Wednesday. After an incident at a […]
TV REVIEW: THE NEW FALL SEASON (Part I)
20 September 2003The new fall TV season is upon us, and I must say, it’s been mostly a disappointment so far, hasn’t it? Maybe there are just too many channels now, but so far I’ve seen no new shows that are great, and not to many that are any good at all. WHOOPI: The pilot, featuring Whoopi […]
FUN FROM THE COMMENTS.
20 September 2003Here’s a fun exchange from the comments section I wanted to put out here for all to see. It’s from the comments to my recent article “FOX NEWS IS FULL OF SHIT.” One of my legions of fans commented, in full: “Fox News is the only real news out there. You hate it because you […]
MOVIE REVIEW: ANYTHING ELSE (2003) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
20 September 2003The new Woody Allen movie is about as good as any other Woody Allen movie, which, I think, is very good. It’s very over the top, but very real at the same time. It stars Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci in a very charming love story between a neurotic Jew and a flighty actress. It […]
BOOK REVIEW: REFER MADNESS (2003) * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
18 September 2003Reefer Madness: Sex, Drugs, and Cheap Labor in the American Black Market is really three books in one. The best, is the titular story, with which the book opens, documenting the history of marijuana laws in the United States. The author, Eric Schlosser, who also wrote Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American […]
FOX NEWS IS FULL OF SHIT.
17 September 2003I very, very rarely swear. But this is what I’ve been saving it for. Fox News is full of shit. Everybody says the problem with Fox News is that they have a conservative bias. That’s true about them, and it is a problem, but it’s not the main problem. The problem with Fox News is […]
WHY NOT ME?
17 September 2003MY friend Danny B. urged me to run for public office the other day, after hearing some of my political views! While I am very interested in politics, I have absolutely no desire to lose my privacy by becoming a famous celebrity. Plus, I think Danny is over-estimating my chances of being successful at politics. […]
FLASH MOBS– WHAT’S NEXT?
14 September 2003So, a lot of people have asked me: now that there are to be no more flash mobs in New York, what’s next? Until now, I’ve had no answer. But I’ve recently been directed to improveverywhere.com. Actually, that’s not quite right, because this project predates the Mob Project by several years. Improv Everywhere is a […]
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, CONAN O’BRIEN.
14 September 2003The Conan O’Brien 10th Anniversary Special was really funny, and you should definitely watch it tonight. The only interesting anecdote I have about attending the taping of it is that I happened to be sitting one row in front of and four seats over from Lorne Michaels, producer of Late Night, as well as Saturday […]
MOVIE REVIEW: LOST IN TRANSLATION (2003) * 1/2 (one and a half stars out of 4).
14 September 2003The new Bill Murray movie has some funny moments, but it’s a little slow and the ending is unsatisfying.
MOVIE REVIEW: WINGED MIGRATION (2001) 1/2 (half a star out of 4).
14 September 2003This endlessly repetitive movie was a cross between “Finding Nemo” and getting hit on the head for an hour and a half with one of those toy hammers that squeaks every time it hits something. The 90 minute movie would be excellent if they could reduce it to about 8 minutes.
BOOK REVIEW: LIES AND THE LYING LIARS WHO TELL THEM: A FAIR AND BALANCED LOOK AT THE RIGHT (2003) **** (4 stars out of 4).
13 September 2003This is definitely the best book I’ve read so far this year. It is thought provoking, sharp, intelligent, and very funny. It is not, however, as funny as Franken’s earlier book, Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot: And Other Observations. But then again, I’ve never read any other book as funny as that one, […]
THE END OF FLASH MOBBING?
11 September 2003I attended what was billed as “the final mob” last night. These were the instructions that were distributed: ———- * * * MOB #8 * * * The Site: 42nd St. between 6th and 7th Aves. — on the sidewalk in front of the B/D/F/V station. At 7:41, a performance will begin on the sidewalk. […]
BOOK REVIEW: THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE (1994) * * (2 stars out of 4).
10 September 2003This book, by former Paramount chief Robert Evans, was totally ruined for me by Bob Odenkirk’s dead-on impersonation of his quirky style of speaking. (e.g.: Do I have any regrets? You bet your ass I do. Would I do it again? In a second.) Aside from this amusement, there isn’t much to offer. Mostly it’s […]
SCREED.
5 September 2003A “screed” is a monotonous, shrill, harangue. A google search for this regular English word yields about 112,000 matches. Interestingly, I’ve almost never seen any editorial coverage of any of Ann Coulter’s books that didn’t use the word “screed”. So, I did a search for “‘ann coulter’ screed”. This yields about 2,000 results. A search […]
THE FINAL MOB.
4 September 2003All are invited. —– forwarded message —– You are invited to take part in MOB, the project that creates an inexplicable mob of people in New York City for ten minutes or less. Please forward this to other people you know who might like to join. FAQ Q. The end? A. Yes. Q. Why? A. […]
I’M OFF.
3 September 2003I’m going to Florida for the next week, to watch my friends’ son have his genitals ritually mutilated in the custom of an ancient religious ceremony.
THE PENULTIMATE FLASH MOB.
28 August 2003MOB #7 was yesterday. The highlight for me was overhearing two people noticing the crowd forming and having the following conversation: Man #1: “Hey, what are all these people doing here?” Man #2: “I don’t know. Maybe it’s one of those flash mobs.” Here are the instructions we received: *** MOB #7 *** The Site: […]
NEW RULE.
23 August 2003On the HBO show “Real Time with Bill Maher, ” each episode ends with Maher dictating a bunch of “new rules,” like “no cell phones in movie theaters” or “stop patting ourselves on the back about the blackout.” One of them on last night’s show was: “New rule: enough with the flash mobs. If you […]
SEEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT ON BROADWAY.
22 August 2003I just got pestered by a friend about why I haven’t written anything about the “2003 blackout.” Here are my thoughts. First, as I’ve said before, calling a blackout the blackout of 2003 while it’s still 2003 is the opposite of journalism. If reporters just called it “the blackout” would we all be like, “which […]
MOB #7
21 August 2003All are invited. —– FORWARDED —– You are invited to take part in MOB, the project that creates an inexplicable mob of people in New York City for ten minutes or less. Please forward this to other people you know who might like to join. FAQ Q. Why would I want to join a stupid […]
A VERY SPECIAL SKETCH SHOW (2003)
18 August 2003I don’t feel right reviewing this Fringe Festival show, since I know many of the people involved in it, but I did enjoy it. Go see it, and then say hi to David, Chris, and Lauren for me!
THEATER REVIEW: CITIZEN WALKEN (2003) * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
18 August 2003This decent impersonation of Christopher Walken left me longing for the real thing. There were some funny moments, including a great, biting send-up of the fawning James Lipton from Inside the Actors’ Studio. Part of the NYC Fringe Festival