MOVIE REVIEW: GANGS OF NEW YORK (2002) * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
I finally saw Gangs of New York, with Rob K. First of all, at 2 hours and 45 minutes, this movie is very self-indulgently over-long. Are you seriously telling me that they couldn’t have cut, say, five minutes out of this movie? In fact they could have cut out the whole last half hour and had a much better film, because the ending is ridiculous. One of the main selling points in the movie seemed to be that it offered a view of the way New York looked 150 years ago. But the movie doesn’t even offer much of that, as practically all the outdoor action takes place at a single intersection. There are some clever lines of dialogue here and there, though none so memorable that it comes to mind as I write this. And there’s a whole lot of violence, if you like that sort of thing. But the story makes little sense, and the feelings and motivations of the characters are difficult to fathom.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHOW?
The new show, “Clone High” on MTV is very amusing. The premise is that, in the 1980s, scientists dug up a bunch of famous people from history and cloned them, and now the clones are teenagers in high school, going through the every-day problems that teens go through. They all know that they are clones, yet, for the most part, they don’t seem to be up to the challenge of living up to the achievements of their famous progenitors. The main characters are Abraham Lincoln, his pal Ghandi, Joan of Arc (who has a crush on Abe), Cleopatra (who Abe has a crush on), and JFK (who likes Cleopatra and all the other female students at Clone High). It’s pretty funny some times, but it’s more interesting and smart than it is funny. You should check it out.
Clone High is on MTV at the following times, according to my Tivo:
Friday, 2/14: 1 AM, 1:30 AM.
Saturday, 2/15: 12 AM, 12:30 AM, 6 PM.
Sunday, 2/16: 1:30 PM, 2 PM.
Monday, 2/17: 12 AM, 12:30 AM, 10:30 PM.
Thursday, 2/20: 5:30 PM.
Friday, 2/21: 6:30 PM.
Saturday, 2/22: 9:30 PM.
All of these are on MTV. Here in Manhattan, that’s Time Warner Cable Channel 20. Note that AM times indicate the very early morning. So, for example, the episode on Friday, 2/14, at 1 AM is very early Friday morning, or, you might say, late Thursday night.
THEATER REVIEW: TINKLE * * * (3 stars out of 4).
This new comedy show, which plays at Pianos at 158 Ludlow Street on Sunday nights at 8, is alternately hosted by David Cross (of Mr. Show with Bob and David), Todd Barry, and Jon Benjamin (Dr. Katz’s good-for-nothing son on Dr. Katz). It’s great, as far as stand-up comedy shows go, and some of the acts I saw there were great. But a couple were rather mundane. Does New York need another stand-up comedy show? That’s a rhetorical question to which the answer is no. A lot of the acts challenged the conventional stand-up format, and there are musical acts and videos and some parodies of the genre of stand-up, and a lot of it was great. But even so, I guess from these great hosts I expected something a little more unconventional. As good a show as this is, I think I’d always rather go to the Upright Citizen Brigade’sA.S.S.S.S.C.A.T., which is also once a week at the same time.
NYC RESTAURANT REVIEW: L’IMPERO * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
L’impero at 45 Tudor City Place, way on the east side between 42nd and 43rd, is phenomenal. The food is incredible, the wait-staff is attentive and friendly, and the $49 four-course prix fixe dinner tasting menu is actually an incredible bargain for the delicious feast that it gets you. As our appetizer, Andy M. and I both had the chestnut and celery root soup with rabbit, which I highly recommend. For our pasta dish, I had the gnocchi which was absolutely perfect, while Andy had the duck ravioli and Sophie W. had the sea-food linguini. All of them were excellent. For the main course, Andy had the Venison, which I’m not a huge fan of, in general. This was as good as any I’ve had, but, true to form, it was a little gamey. I had the goat, which was very good. For dessert, Sophie had the Chocolate Cake, which was definitely my favorite, and it was truly excellent. I had the chocolate soup which was delicious, but a little busy. Andy had the fried dough (I forget the Italian word for it they used) which was good, but fried dough is pretty hard to screw up. This is one of the best restaurants I’ve ever been to, and I recommend it highly.
BLOGGER BASH.
I just got back from the 14th Annual Big Apple Blogger Bash. There were a bunch of other bloggers there, and all of them had very interesting stories to tell. Here are the blog addresses I got from people:
The Daily Dose,
Curious Lee,
blue red orange,
The Beautiful Days,
Rough Days,
EricRosenfield.com,
brokentype,
Randomness Personified,
Objectionable Content, and
Asymmetrical Information.
That last one is my favorite so far of the bunch. It’s really smart and interesting. I can see myself getting a little sucked into it. It’s very political and very personal at the same time. But Megan (who goes by “Jane Galt”) is so prolific that I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep up with it, much less catch up.
MOVIE REVIEW: HUMAN NATURE (2001) * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
I watched Human Nature because it was written by Charlie Kaufman, who wrote Adaptation and Being John Malkovich, as well as Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. I was also attracted to the fact that it stars Tim Robbins, who I love, and who, it turns out, is great in the movie. This movie was relatively trite and “Hollywood” compared with Kaufman’s other scripts, but there is still that quirky, surreal quality that he brings to his work. There are some funny moments, but I think the movie fails as a comedy, and I also think it fails as a morality play. An interesting theme of the movie was where the source of morality comes from. As the movie opens, Tim Robbins is already dead, telling his story, unsure of whether he gets to go to Heaven or Hell. He was ruthlessly trained by his parents to be “proper”, particularly in his table manners. He trains a feral human to be civilized, using an electric-shock collar. He captures this human being and keeps him in a cage while he is civilizing him. In every case, it seems as if the dispenser of morality lacks the moral authority necessary for her actions, and it gets one to thinking about where morality comes from, particularly when it comes to the trivialities associated with civilization.
I’ve always felt resentful toward the requirements of table manners. It seems like every rule is designed to mike life more difficult and unpleasant. Why can’t it be a rule that it’s super-extra-polite to pick your teeth at the table? Wouldn’t that make life easier and better and more pleasant? Why can’t it be a rule that it’s a compliment to your host to clear your plate and also a compliment to your host not to clear your plate? You know, in America and much of Europe it’s rude not to finish your meal, but in Thailand, it’s rude to finish it. Here, we think it’s a compliment to show that your food was too delicious not to finish, but they think it’s a better compliment to show that our food was too plentiful to finish. The idea that two cultures could come to completely opposite conclusions about the exact same thing, and both be offended if you disagree, illustrates perfectly the absurdity of the very notion of table manners. I think that when you’re eating, which is such hedonistic and animalistic thing to do, the very highest law ought to be “do as you please.” I love the image of mediaeval feasts, where all the people eat with their hands and throws their bones on the floor. I vote for that.
BOOK REVIEW: THE ORCHID THIEF (2000) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean is the book that the movie Adaptation is an adaptation of. I found that movie so intriguing and confusing that I had to read the book. It turns out that the book, more than anything else, is about the history of South Florida, which is where I grew up, so that was a very pleasant and interesting surprise. It seems that South Florida was built upon one real-estate scam after another. I think Charlie Kaufman’s criticisms of the book are true. It is very interesting, but there isn’t really a story, and none of the characters ever really learn anything or change in a meaningful way. But, then again, that’s what life is really like.
There’s nothing in the book that sheds any light on the mysteries of the movie. Nothing about using orchids as a drug, nothing about killing anybody, nothing about Donald Kaufman. The book is the same mundane book that serves as a prop in Adaptation.
WATCH THIS SPACE.
I just opened a fortune cookie, and it said, “Your future has not yet been determined.”
ACTUALLY, SOME OF THEM ARE TRUE.
Snopes.com is an amazingly comprehensive collection of urban legends distributed over the Internet. It’s one of those sites you could easily spend hours at, following one lead after another. It’s been a while since I lost myself in a site like that.
EXACTLY WHAT’S WRONG WITH TELEVISION.
I just started watching the episode of “TV Out of the Box” that documents the show “Andy Richter Controls the Universe” on the Trio cable channel, and they said this throwaway line in the introduction: “TV Out of the Box tracks the last two months of production on Andy Richter, as the cast and crew make the most of their last chance to establish themselves in a medium that values commercial success above originality and critical acclaim.” And it was though I was hit by a bolt of lightning. That’s exactly, exactly what’s wrong with television. Sure, all media are influenced by commercial success. But for television, commercial success means mass appeal. Something that draws an intense reaction from only a few people may be great art, but it will never succeed on TV. Maybe that’s why there’s so much great original programming on HBO: at $10 a subscriber, they can afford to make a program that appeals only to, say, a few hundred thousand people. But broadcast television, which sells eyeballs to advertisers for thirty seconds at a time for about a nickel a pair, must appeal to tens of millions of people in order to succeed. And, in the world of commercial television, the only kind of success there is is commercial success. And that’s why television sucks so much of the time, and that’s why great shows always get cancelled. People say that the proliferation of digital cable and satellite television, with their thousands of channels will change this. Now, there will be a home for most every show, as channels settle for audiences in the tens of thousands. But as long as the only kind of success there is is ratings success, nothing will ever really change. I actually love the ethic of Trio, which often broadcasts (or rebroadcasts) brilliant television that challenges the definition of the medium, such as their “Brilliant but Cancelled” month in December, and their rebroadcasts of the old NBC episodes of Late Night with David Letterman. But in the end, they’re the same as everyone else, just banking that their intellectual approach will attract enough viewers for them to make a profit.
OH, ME BROTHERS.
A pretty neat bar in New York City’s East Village is the Korova Milk Bar at 13th and A. It’s (loosely) modeled after the bar of the same name in the movie “A Clockwork Orange.” They have “Moloku” drinks, which contain ice-cream (instead of milk with “cutters” in it). Much of the decor is modeled from the movie as well. I went there Saturday with Dara E. and Ricky on Saturday, and had a drink with Stoli Orange and ice-cream.
HEY, WAIT A SECOND!
Why does this bag say “Gourmet Microwave Popcorn”? There’s no such thing as gourmet microwave popcorn! Gourmets don’t eat microwave popcorn. What’s going on here? I smell a mystery. I’m going to go look for clues.
DAILY SHOW SCHIZOPHRENIA.
On Wednesday night, on Comedy Central‘s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, the censors repeatedly bleeped out the word “bush”, as used by Rosie Perez to refer to her own genitalia– even though that’s the name of the President of the United States, and even though Comedy Central has a program on that network called, “That’s my Bush”. But then Thursday night, they let Laurence Fishburne use the word “pussy” repeatedly without bleeping it. Seriously, what’s the principle that guides the decision to bleep out one whimsical euphemism, but not, in my opinion, a more graphic and course one? And, really, what did they think the name of the show “That’s my Bush” was supposed to mean?
REVIEW OF REVIEW OF REVIEWS.
Here’s the breakdown of how many items have been awarded each possible number of stars by me.
* * * * (4 stars) has been awarded 6 times: 3 restaurants, 2 theater shows, 1 movie, and 0 books.
* * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars) has been awarded 16 times: 10 restaurants, 1 theater show, 2 movies, and 3 books.
* * * (3 stars) has been awarded 18 times: 6 restaurants, 2 theater shows, 4 movies, and 6 books.
* * 1/2 (2 and a half stars) has been awarded 7 times: 2 restaurants, 1 theater show, 2 movies, and 2 books.
* * (2 stars) has been awarded 7 times: 0 restaurants, 0 theater shows, 0 movies, and 7 books.
* 1/2 (1 and a half stars) has been awarded 8 times: 0 restaurants, 1 theater shows, 5 movies, and 2 books.
* (1 star) has been awarded 3 times: 0 restaurants, 1 theater show, 2 movies, and 0 books.
1/2 (half a star) has been awarded once, for a movie.
no stars (0 stars) has been awarded once, for a book.
One of the striking patterns that emerges here is that no restaurant has been awarded fewer than two and a half stars, and only two have been awarded less than three stars. This is not because I am easy on restaurants. Rather, it is because I don’t generally review restaurants unless I think they’re particularly memorable. I don’t review some hole-in-the-wall diner, to say that it’s a hole-in-the-wall diner. By contrast, I review almost every single movie, or theater show I see, and almost every single book I read, so those have a more natural distribution.
REVIEW OF REVIEWS.
Here’s a list of all my reviews to date. Click on the name of the thing reviewed to link to the review itself.
NEW YORK CITY RESTAURANTS:
HUDSON HOTEL * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
REPUBLIC * * * (3 stars out of 4).
SUSHISAMBA * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
BANGKOK * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
UNCLE NICKS * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
MAX * * * (3 stars out of 4).
MAXIE’S DELI * * * (3 stars out of 4).
The Carnegie Deli (North Times Square). * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
Katz’s Deli (Lower East Side). * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars).
Ben’s Deli (South Times Square). * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars).
The Roxy Deli (Central Times Square). * * * (3 stars).
Maxie’s Deli (Central Times Square). * * * (3 stars).
The 2nd Avenue Deli (East Village). * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars).
CHURRASCARIA PLATAFORMA * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
MEXICANA MAMMA * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
AL’S SOUP KITCHEN INTERNATIONAL * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
JOHN’S PIZZA * * * (3 stars out of 4).
NONG * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
PIPA * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
CRAFT * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
AUREOLE * * * 1/2 (3 1/2 stars out of 4).
THEATER:
A.S.S.S.S.C.A.T. * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
THE SUN RISES IN THE EAST * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
THE GRADUATE * * * (3 stars out of 4).
A NIGHT OF SHITTY THEATRE * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
MR. SHOW LIVE– HOORAY FOR AMERICA TOUR * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
THE EXONERATED * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
THE MERCY SEAT * (1 star out of 4).
DEBBIE DOES DALLAS * * * (3 stars out of 4).
MOVIES:
DOLORES CLAIBORNE * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
NOVOCAINE * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
LITTLE NICKY 1/2 (half a star out of 4).
RONIN * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
THE GOOD GIRL (2002) * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
SIGNS (2002) * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
LATHE OF HEAVAN (2002) * (1 star out of 4).
TADPOLE (2002) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
THE TRIALS OF HENRY KISSINGER (2002) * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE (2002) * * * 1/2 (3 1/2 stars out of 4).
RED DRAGON (2002) * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
DIE ANOTHER DAY * (1 star out of 4).
STAR TREK NEMESIS (2002) * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
HABLE CON ELLA (TALK TO HER) (2002) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
ADAPTATION (2002) * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND (2002) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
25TH HOUR (2002) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
BOOKS:
THE NEXT FIFTY YEARS: SCIENCE IN THE FIRST HALF OF THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY * * (2 stars, out of 4).
THE TEMPTING OF AMERICA * * * (3 stars out of 4).
RICH DAD, POOR DAD * * (2 stars out of 4).
FROM BAUHAUS TO OUR HOUSE * * 1/2 (2 and one half stars out of 4).
OGILVY ON ADVERTISING * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
EVERYTHING AND A KITE * * * (3 stars out of 4).
THE PAINTED WORD * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
A TRIAL BY JURY * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS * * (2 stars out of 4).
THE GUYS * * (2 stars out of 4).
SLANDER: LIBERAL LIES ABOUT THE AMERICAN RIGHT (2002) no stars (0 stars out of 4).
THE NATURAL * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES (1987) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
FORTY-TWO STORIES * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
THE CODE OF THE WOOSTERS * * (2 stars out of 4).
E=MC²: A BIOGRAPHY OF THE WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS EQUATION (2001) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
THE MIND’S SKY: HUMAN INTELLIGENCE IN A COSMIC CONTEXT (1992) * * (2 stars out of 4).
TRUER THAN TRUE ROMANCE: CLASSIC LOVE COMICS RETOLD! (2001) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
LIVE FROM NEW YORK: AN UNCENSORED HISTORY OF SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (2002) * * (2 stars out of 4).
THE SCIENCE OF SUPERHEROES * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
BUSH AT WAR (2002) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
NO WAY TO TREAT A FIRST LADY * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
NYC RESTAURANT REVIEW: AUREOLE * * * 1/2 (3 1/2 stars out of 4).
I went to Aureole today with Bryan C. for Restaurant Week. The food there was truly extraordinary, and good enough to warrant four stars. And the setting and service was elegant and flawless. And, actually, that’s my only complaint about the place, is that I constantly felt like I was being judged by all these fancy waiters if I wasn’t using the right fork or pronounced some French word with an American accent. So, if you’re into that kind of place, then, definitely, it’s four stars. But I’ve been to places just as fancy, where I felt much more comfortable and at home, and not like I was at a state dinner. But it’s definitely worth putting up with all that stuffiness for the fabulous food.
NYC RESTAURANT REVIEW: CRAFT * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
Bryan C. and I had lunch at Craft as part of Restaurant Week, when some of the city’s top restaurants have prix-fixe three-course lunches for $20.03 (for the year 2003). If you missed it, there’s another one in June. Craft was really great, with delicious, creative American dishes, served in an elegant but modern setting. It’s just Northeast of Union Square at 43 E. 19th ST.
I’M SPOILED ROTTEN.
My TV is being repaired, and so is unusable for the next two weeks. It was a rear-projection wide screen Panasonic. So, I’ve had to hook up my old TV that I used to have before this one, and which I kept in my game room. My old TV is a perfectly nice 27 inch Samsung, which I was very happy with for many years, and which I was very excited to get, years ago, when it replaced my previous TV which was 25 inches. But you just can’t go backwards like that, I am finding. I feel like I’m watching a six-inch black-and-white kitchen TV.
PICTURE THIS.
Here’s a recent picture of me and Jill Z, my girlfriend. She lives in Florida, and I live in New York. We’ve been going out since the middle of December, though much of that time has been spent apart.
[PHOTO NO LONGER AVAILABLE]
As you can see, she’s about a foot and a half taller than I am. Just kidding– she’s sitting on my lap, and I am a towering 5′ 11″. She works for American Express, resolving disputes between American merchants and non-American cardholders.
MOVIE REVIEW: 25TH HOUR (2002) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
25th Hour is the touching story of a man (Edward Norton) who has been sentence to prison for seven years, and has one last day to spend with his friends. It’s touching and real and engaging and sometimes funny.
MOVIE REVIEW: CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND (2002) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
This movie was fun, funny, and strange. It’s written by Charlie Kaufman, who also wrote Adaptation and Being John Malkovich. This movie, about Chuck Barris, host of the Gong Show, who claimed to be an undercover agent for the CIA, is a lot more straightforward, but still has a little of the same strange, surreal style.
I’M BACK!
I’m back in New York!
I’M IN FLORIDA.
I flew to Florida on Tuesday to visit my girlfriend, Jill Z. She turned 30 yesterday (Thursday). On her birthday, I took her to see Tick, Tick, Boom, a musical by Jonathan Larson, the creator of Rent. By chance, the major theme of the play is the main character’s struggle to accomplish something worthwhile in the last two weeks before his 30th birthday. The opening musical number goes on and on about how horrible it is to be turning 30. So it was eerily appropriate for the evening.
THE THIRD WEEKEND IN JANUARY.
I just had a busy, busy weekend. Thursday afternoon, Bryan C. came over and fixed my computer, and then we went to see Believe Chicken, a stand-up comedy show hosted by my friend Jessica D.. Then we had dinner at Pipa. Friday, I actually did some work during the day, and then I hung out with my ex-girlfriend, Jill R. We had dinner at the Celebrity Deli, and then had a meeting of the “Hell’s Kitchen Salon”, which consists of buying a script to a play, and then dividing up the parts and reading them out loud together. We read “God” by Woody Allen, which was okay, but definitely not his best work. Saturday afternoon I went with Dara E. to the Museum of Television and Radio, but the library was closed, because they were having computer problems. So we bought the Trivial Pursuit 20th Anniversary edition instead, and I trounced her. Then I saw Adaptation with Jin K. Sunday, I went to Brooklyn to visit my cousin Mike R., his wife Stephanie, and their two-year-old twins, Nicolas and Sabrina.
NYC RESTAURANT REVIEW: PIPA * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
This Union Square tapas place is very pricey, but it’s actually worth the $9 to $15 per item, even though you’ll need to order two or three per person to share. The endives with bacon-wrapped dates were incredible, and shrimp and cheese filled peppers were scrumptious.
« Previous Page — Next Page »