SHAH!
Let’s open the David’s Journal mailbag.
—–>
Date: Thu, 2 Jan 2003 00:44:26 -0600 (CST)
From: Sean S.
To: Dave D.
Subject: shah!
you dork! after all that you don’t tell people the mechanics of how to
make a fortune-telling thing. shah!
at least link to a site that tells you
<----- Enjoy.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I watched the ball drop in Times Square from my balcony last night, about half a mile away. I invited over Jin K. and Alan B., because any more people wouldn’t have been able to get a good view from there. Then we crashed another party in the building that we saw on another balcony. I don’t remember that much because I had way too much to drink.
HOW FORTUNATE.
Jill Z. made me one of those old fortune teller things, where you pick a color, and then a number, and then a number, and then look under the flap for your fortune. So, I went over to Pete B. and made up this story about how I met an old Gypsy woman in downtown Hollywood (Florida), who gave me this fortune teller that would always tell you your true fortune. This seemed to me to be not so much an obvious lie as an obvious joke, but everyone asked me “Are you serious?” I guess I told the story well. Anyway, the point of this story is the fortunes I wrote on the fortune telling device:
1. No one will ever really love you.
2. You will outlive your children.
3. You will contract an incurable STD.
4. You will be falsely accused of child abuse.
5. You will lose all your hair and teeth by the age of 45.
6. Your spouse will cheat on you.
7. You will lose all your savings at the age of 53.
8. You will never be successful or respected in your chosen profession.
So, it was great going around to everyone and reading them their fortunes. These are kind of amusing to read, but it’s much funnier when you pick a number and that’s your personal fortune. Then, two days later I was at Pete’s house again for a surprise birthday party for his wife, Samara B.. Toward the end of the night I asked Samara whose fortune I should do, and she indicated her 10 year-old half-sister, whose name I forget. She loved it, and insisted to go around doing people’s fortunes. It was so funny, seeing this little girl say these terrible things! She told her mother that she would never be successful in her chosen profession, and then she told her father that he’d lose all his hair by the age of 45 “Oh, that’s already happened to you!” she said. From the mouths of babes. Then she told her grandmother that she would be falsely accused of child abuse. It was hysterical. She asked to copy the fortune teller device, and I let her, but she had to promise to let anybody else copy it who wanted it. I hope it spreads all over her school and all over the world.
Make one yourself, and substitute your own ideas for your least favorites above. Here are some tips:
1) I kind of regret the two that mention your specific age. They don’t work for anyone over that age.
2) A fortune is something that will happen in the future. Don’t say, “you look ugly”, say, “you will loose your looks much sooner than you would have thought possible.” You can disagree with the first one, but the second one has the ring of truth, because who’s to say today that it’s not true?
3) Don’t be overly graphic or sexual. The one about the incurable STD is already more than pushing it. A couple people found that one a little un-funny.
UPDATE 1/2/03: How to make a paper fortune teller.
I’M BACK.
I got back to NYC late last night.
ARCHIVES.
I’ve noticed that my automatically generated archives links are often a little screwy. So, I’ve gone back and inserted a link to the previous month’s archive at the end of each month, so that you can always scroll through the archives this way. On the first of each month, at 12:00:01 AM, is a back-dated blog entry with a link to the previous month’s archive. Try it!
AND I’M OFF.
I’m off to Florida until December 28th.
NYC RESTAURANT REVIEW: AL’S SOUP KITCHEN INTERNATIONAL * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
Al Yeganeh, the world famous restaurateur, and inspiration for the Seinfeld episode titled “The Soup Nazi”, seems to be getting a little more mellow as the years go by. But his soup retains all of its exquisite flavor. It really is that good. Unless the weather is terrible, there’s always a line of at least half an hour at lunch time. I particularly recommend the seafood bisque and the chilli. It’s on 55th Street between Broadway and 8th. I, also, live on 55th Street between Broadway and 8th, and that’s not entirely a coincidence.
WAY AHEAD OF YOU, DAVE.
Date: Thu, 12 Dec 2002 12:51:23 -0500
From: Fair (Fair@FAIR.ORG)
To: David D.
Subject: RE: CORPORATE MEDIA CONTROL: AOL’s HBO promotes AOL’s CNN in “Liv e from Bagdad”
We did put out a release on this, mentioning the HBO/CNN connection but
focusing on the content of the movie. See
http://www.fair.org/activism/hbo-gulf-hoax.html .
Regards,
Jim Naureckas
AOL TIME WARNER BLOWS ITS OWN HORN.
Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2002 18:36:21 -0500 (EST)
From: David D.
To: FAIRNESS AND ACCURACY IN REPORTING (fair@fair.org)
Subject: CORPORATE MEDIA CONTROL: AOL’s HBO promotes AOL’s CNN in “Live from Bagdad”
To Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting (FAIR):
I wish to share a particularly blatant example of corporate control of the media having an effect on the way in which a story is reported.
The new made-for HBO documentary, “Live From Baghdad” was very entertaining, but not very objective. The movie takes a very favorable view of CNN, and its rise to prominence during the 1991 Gulf War. Yet nowhere does the movie mention that HBO and CNN are both owned by AOL Time Warner.
I hope that FAIR will please inform its subscribers about AOL Time Warner using one of its media outlets (HBO) to make and broadcast a documentary about another of its media outlets (CNN), without disclosing the greatest possible conflict of interest that there can ever be– that both are owned by the same company.
Very sincerely,
David D.
JAMES BOND’S INVISIBLE CAR.
Dav C. points out that James Bond’s invisible car may be closer than I thought.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
Jill R. and I went to Strawberry Fields in Central Park Sunday night to check out the festivities on the anniversary of John Lennon’s death. There was quite a turn-out, three or four times what I’d seen there in previous years. We stayed for about a half-hour or so, singing Lennon songs along with the crowd. Oh, the songs he might have gone on to write!
RAVING SILVERMAN.
I saw Sarah Silverman perform at “Jewcy”, a benefit for the UJA, on Saturday night with Jill R. Silverman was really funny, but there’s one joke in particular that I can’t stop thinking about. I’m paraphrasing here a bit. She said, “I honestly believe that if black people had lived in Germany in the 1930s, the Holocaust would never have happened.” There’s a long, silent pause here, as we all mull this over, trying to think about how this could be. Then she continues, “I mean– it would never have happened to the Jews.”
NYC RESTAURANT REVIEW: MEXICANA MAMMA * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
I went to this small West Village Mexican restaurant Saturday night with Jill R. It’s the best Mexican place I’ve been to in New York City, which has a real paucity of good Mexican places. The food at Mexicana Mamma is excellent and rich, without being heavy or oily. I have an incredibly high tolerance for spicy foods, but I think some people might find this a bit too spicy for them.
MAKE IT SO.
Wil Wheaton, the actor who played Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation, and self-described, “washed-up, former child actor,” has a blog which is almost endearingly mundane.
NYC RESTAURANT REVIEW: CHURRASCARIA PLATAFORMA * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
This Brazilian riodizio (all-you-can-eat) restaurant at 316 W. 49th street was fantastic. I ate here last night with Danny B., and savored every delicately prepared bite. This is a riodizio restaurant, which means that waiters come around continuously and carve meat off of skewers onto your plate, and they keep coming around, until you tell them to stop. This makes Churrascaria Plataforma an excellent choice if you are on a low-carbohydrate diet, such as Atkins (me) or Sugar Busters (Danny). It’s also, I should think, a great place to binge if you are bulimic!
NYC RESTAURANT REVIEW: MAXIE’S DELI * * * (3 stars out of 4).
This new Times Square delicatessen is typical of those in the Times Square area, like the Roxy and the Carnegie. I ate here on Wednesday night with Debbie W. and Danny B. It has excellent, fresh food, in giant 1 pound sandwiches that must be shared, despite the $3 sharing fee. I’d say it falls on my list of my top favorite Delis in New York in this order, starting with my favorite:
1. The Carnegie Deli (North Times Square). * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
2. Katz’s Deli (Lower East Side). * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars).
3. Ben’s Deli (South Times Square). * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars).
4. The Roxy Deli (Central Times Square). * * * (3 stars).
5. Maxie’s Deli (Central Times Square). * * * (3 stars).
6. The 2nd Avenue Deli (East Village). * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars).
MOVIE REVIEW: DIE ANOTHER DAY * (1 star out of 4).
I’m not a huge fan of the James Bond genre, but I usually do enjoy these movies, at least on a superficial level. However, this is my least favorite James Bond movie that I’ve seen. My two main complaints are these:
First, I know that James Bond is, on some level, a science fiction character, and he’s supposed to have the very “latest” technology, including some things that haven’t exactly been invented yet. Nonetheless, these things usually sound reasonably plausible, like something we could invent in the next five or ten years, if we really put our resources to it. But in this movie, James Bond gets an invisible car. He presses a button, and his car becomes invisible, using holographic projections of what’s on the other side of the car. This does not seem like something that we’re going to invent in the next 10 or 20 or 50 years. This sounds like something that we will invent in no fewer than 200 years, if ever. So, now, does James Bond have an invisible car from now on? If so, that seems like a major revision of the character. But if not, then why not?
My second main complaint is that the sexual innuendo was very coarse and not the least bit clever. I found Mr. Bond and his associates to be not the least bit sophisticated in this regard, and some of the crude double entendres offended my intelligence, if not my sensibilities.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I had a great time Thanksgiving. I watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade from my balcony, which overlooks Broadway, at 55th Street, which is right about the exact center of the parade route. I had 8 friends over who were in town, and we had bagels and lox and tuna and suchlike, and drank mimosas and Kahlua spiked coffee.
In the evening, my friend Danny B., who is staying here for the weekend, came with me to my cousin, Michael R.‘s and his wife, Stephanie R.‘s place in Brooklyn for Thanksgiving dinner, where I got to play with their, 2-year-old twins, Nicholas and Sabrina. I also got to see my ex-aunt Carol and some of Stephanie’s family.
The food was delicious. Tragically, I ate too much, both in the morning and at night, which inspired me to go on the Atkins Diet the next day.
BOOK REVIEW: THE SCIENCE OF SUPERHEROES * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
After reading the excellent books, The Physics of Star Trek, and its sequel, Beyond Star Trek, which examine what about Star Trek is impossible, and what could conceivably be discovered in the future, I was very excited about The Science of Superheroes. But the book was a terrible disappointment. The authors go into mind-numbing detail about the most boring details of each hero’s life and adventures, only to ignore those details, and then just talk about whatever they want to talk about. For example, an obscure Spider-Man story from the 60s is used as a pretense to talk about cloning for the better part of a chapter. Similarly, almost the entire Green Lantern chapter is taken up with a long and trite discussion of black holes, based on the throw-away speculation that a black hole could be the power source for Green Lantern’s power battery. I took only one semester of physics in college, and no other science classes, and I guess I’ve read about science a little in popular books and magazines, and despite this modest background, the level of discussion of scientific issues seemed far beneath me. So, don’t read this book, and read The Physics of Star Trek instead.
BOOK REVIEW: LIVE FROM NEW YORK: AN UNCENSORED HISTORY OF SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (2002) * * (2 stars out of 4).
This Book‘s authors, Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller, have clearly confused the word “uncensored,” which is good, with “unedited,” which is bad. Almost the entire book is taken up by long, unedited, paragraph-long and page-long quotes by people involved in the show, separated by no exposition, other than to give the name of the person quoted. While this is an interesting style, the result is, at various times, wild jumps in topic, to keep things organized chronologically, or wild jumps chronologically to keep things organized thematically. It’s also, at various times, very repetitious, and very contradictory.
Furthermore, while the book may (for all I know) do a good job of capturing the feeling of what it was like to be there at the beginning of the show, it doesn’t really have any information that isn’t common knowledge to most long-time SNL fans. In particular, conspicuously missing in the discussion of Norm Macdonald’s being fired from Weekend Update was any attempt to either dispel or confirm the rumors that this was because NBC executives objected to him joking about O. J. Simpson– this book makes no mention that any such rumors ever existed. All in all, the book was a disappointment, and even though I am very interested in the subject, getting through the book felt like a chore.
HOW ABOUT A SHOWER?
I watched that meteor shower last night with Dara E. I looked for about 15 seconds with my binoculars, and I saw a dot streak by incredibly quickly. She spent the next hour with my binoculars trying to see something, but she couldn’t see anything in all that time. It’s kind of funny, because she was way, way more into it than I was. I always say that it’s impossible to see the stars in the city, especially here in Times Square, but you can actually see quite a lot with binoculars.
NO SOUP FOR YOU.
I live right across the street from Soup Kitchen International, the restaurateur satirized in the episode of Seinfeld titled “The Soup Nazi”. He is always closed over the summer, but he usually reopens in late September or early October. This year, however, he still isn’t open. But yesterday, there were some signs of life. It was still closed and locked, but the metal fence in front of the window was up, and there were lights on inside. Around 10 minutes to 12, a couple of people were there waiting for him to maybe open. Graham and I got in line behind them, and then a bunch of people got in line behind us. We waited until a couple minutes past noon, but he never opened. Then, today, Bryan C. called me to tell me he’d spoken to Al (the soup guy), on the phone, who said he’d be opening next week. I’m so excited in anticipation for the Soup Kitchen International’s delicious, delicious soup. Before he closed last summer, I was there three times a week. Look for my review next week!
MOVIE REVIEW: RED DRAGON (2002) * * 1/2 (2 and a half stars out of 4).
While this prequel to The Silence of the Lambs is a remake of the 1986 movie Manhunter. While more highly produced, and in many ways more disturbing than the 1986 version, it was not as thoughtful as the original, which was less of a horror film, and more of an intelligent mystery. I remember thinking that the deductions in the original (which I haven’t seen since its theatrical release) were very clever. But in the new movie, the deductive leaps are so super-human, that it doesn’t seem worthwhile to even bother trying to keep up.
LATE NIGHTS.
Thursday night I saw “Believe Chicken” the funny free stand-up comedy show on Thursday nights at 7PM at The Nightingale on 2nd Avenue at 13th Street, hosted by Jessica D. and Liz L. Then I hung out with Bob K. and his buddies in the East Village.
Friday night, I went to my UCB improv class, and then I hung out with my classmates until late, bar-hopping. It’s a good class, with good people.
THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN.
I went to a taping of the Late Show today. Last night, I was walking by the theater, and someone who works at the show offerred me and Graham tickets for today’s show. I’ve seen them giving out tickets there before, but never when I had a chance to go. My building is right next to the theater– Letterman is on Broadway between 53rd and 54th, and I’m on Broadway between 54th and 55th– so I walk by it often. Yet, I hardly ever watch it, and this is the first time I’ve gone since I moved to midtown. I used to watch it all the time, before Tivo. But now, I’m never flipping around at 11:30. I just watch the most recent episode of Friends or the SImpsons. Anyway, seeing the show in person was fun, and the location could not possibly have been any more convenient.
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