FLASHMOB #4: THE MOVIE.
Here it is, the flashmob demystified. And here is a mirror of the file. And here is my own inferior mirror.
Much thanks to SamGrrrlDiabolico and JJFlash for hosting this five and a half megabyte AVI file! SamGrrrl’s blog, at sanityofsam.com, is a charming, touching, well-written online journal. It is worth a read, just for its refreshing openness. And make sure to check out JJFlash’s flashmob.fantasmaformaggino.it for the definitive Italian language coverage of the flashmob scene. Or, if your Italian is like mine, then check out the Babelfish English translation of the site.
If you can help to distribute the traffic load by hosting a mirror of the movie, please let me know.
Please, don’t publish links directly to the movie, because some of them will definitely move or be deleted. Put a link to this article, and this article will link to wherever the movie may be in the future.
FLASHMOB #4.
I just got back from flashmob #4. After meeting at the designated location, I received a slip of paper saying the following:
—
*** MOB #4 ***
NOTE–NEW DURATION:
5 minutes (Gather at 7:18; disperse at 7:23.)
THE SITE:
Otto Tootsi Plohound [an upscale SoHo shoe store] (273 Lafayette, just north of Prince). Leave Tom & Jerry’s [The bar where people born in April to June were to gather] by 7:12.
YOU ARE:
* On a bus tour from Maryland. You are excited but also bewildered. It is as if the shoes were made in outer space.
* If you have a cell phone, dial a friend. Say, “Guess where I am.” After a pause, say, “In a SoHo shoe store.” Or: “In one of those New York City mobs.”
KEEP THIS SLIP HIDDEN
MOB #5 IS NEXT THURSDAY
—
When I got there with my friend Jessica D., the crowd was enormous, with hundreds of people standing shoulder to shoulder in the normally spacious store. Just as I was getting to the door, the proprietor put his arm in front of me, and said no more people could come in, but I managed to sidestep him. Many of the people behind me weren’t so lucky. There was a noisy, boisterous, but otherwise harmless crowd in the store for five minutes, and then we quickly left.
I filmed the whole thing on my brand new video camera, but apparently I need some kind of card for my computer, and the stores are all closed. I intend to get it tomorrow, so I can upload the video.
THAT’S SOMETHING, INNIT?
I am quoted in an article by the BBC.
FROM THE SPRING 1897 SEARS CATALOG, PAGE 176:
OUR NEW PRAYING MACHINE IS FULLY AUTO-MATIC.
The Family Model can do the work of twenty parishioners, in less than half the time. Steam-powered to provide reliable operation for many years to come, the Praying Machine is an achievement of the most modern engineering and theology of to-day. It is styled in a manner both sleek and functional, creating a useful item that is virtually maintenance-free, excepting for occasional lubrication.
Ensure self and others against disease, misfortune, damnation, &c.; Old-fashioned “man-powered” prayers frequently go unanswered and must be repeated. But with our Praying Machine such unanswered prayers or “unprofitable prayers” are completely eliminated through our patented three-step process. Your prayers are distilled to their essence, without the extraneous details that may annoy or offend God and Jesus.
Reclaim your Sundays for increased leisure time with your wife or mistress. Alternatively, receive greater profit with a seventh working-day at one of the great new factories of the dawning Industrial Age. In this manner, you will find that the Praying Machine can quickly pay for itself many times over, particularly if you are one of those persons who has fathered many children of an age where they may become gainfully employed in some manner of profession or trade.
ONLY $8.95 ea. post paid.
MOVIE REVIEW: THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN (2003) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
As far as mindless action movies go, this one is clever, fun, and visually engaging in really unique ways. The premise is that the LXG is the Superfriends of the 19th century, teaming up Allan Quartermain, a Vampire, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the Invisible Man, Dorian Gray, Tom Sawyer, and Captain Nemo, to fight for the greater glory of England. It isn’t nearly as good as the book, though. It certainly does not deserve the many horrible reviews it’s gotten.
MOVIE REVIEW: TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES (2003) * * (2 stars out of 4).
T3 does not measure up to T2, much less the first Terminator movie, in terms of either action or intelligent science fiction. A once extremely clever series has become straightforward and formulaic and family-friendly.
MOVIE REVIEW: CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE (2003) * * * 1/2 (3 and a half stars out of 4).
This movie was much better than the first one, and much better than I expected. It works great just as a light-hearted comedy that had me and the audience roaring. And it also works great as a straight-out action movie with action scenes that are nearly as innovative, in their way, as The Matrix or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon were when they first came out, except without resorting to unrealistic tricks, like walking on leaves or bending 110 degrees at the knee and then standing back up. That is, they do things that are just as crazy and impossible, but without seeming to bend the laws of physics.
MOVIE REVIEW: HULK (2003) * 1/2 (1 and a half stars out of 4).
Even though my expectations had been lowered by many negative reviews, Hulk still managed to disappoint. The movie is drawn out and long and boring. It lacks direction and focus, and the characters are much more two-dimensional than they are in the comic book version (which has been excellent since Bruce Jones took over the writing a couple years ago). Some of the special effects are amazing, and it may be worth renting and fast forwarding just for that. But at the same time, sometimes the effects are so poor and cartoonish that it takes you right out of the reality of the movie.
MOVIE REVIEW: FINDING NEMO (2003) * * * (3 stars out of 4).
This was an entertaining, funny movie, which would be totally suitable for a child, but is written at an intelligent level for adults. The computer graphics are very impressive, and are sometimes eerily realistic.
FLASHMOB #3.
I just returned from Flashmob #3. This was called “The Grand Central Mob Ballet,” and was supposed to involve claiming to be waiting for a train, and writing the word “MOB” on a one dollar bill, but none of that came into play.
Instead, we got a form saying:
*** MOB #3 ***
Change of Plans
If you are reading this, we have decided to change venues.
(1) By 7:02, walk out to 42nd St. and look for the main entrance to the Grand Hyatt. Enter and take the escalator up one flight to the main lobby. Loiter until 7:07.
(2) At 7:07, start taking the escalator and elevators up one floor, to the wraparound railing overlooking the lobby. Stand around it, looking down. Fan out to cover as much of the railing as possible. If asked why you are there, point down to the lobby and say, “Look.”
(3) At 7:12, begin applauding. Applaud for fifteen seconds, then disperse in an orderly fashion,
(Note: the exit on that floor is not a pedestrian exit.)
I was actually a little suspicious that this was someone’s attempt to divert the mob, so I found another Mob project representative at Grand Central who handed me the exact same form.
The turnout was about 300 to 500 people, I’d estimate. It went off just as it was described, and much as you’d imagine, with very nervous security people very nervously scampering about, but never interracting or thinking to ask anyone what was going on.
The Grand Hyatt, scene of the latest flashmob.
The mob goes up to the mezzanine.
A security guard makes a nervous telephone call.
The flashmob, assembled.
The flashmob disperses in an orderly fashion.
For more on flashmobbing, see cheesebikini.com
COULDN’T HACK IT.
Buddy Hackett just died. I saw him in Vegas with my family once, and it was just about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. While on stage, he drank an entire fifth of vodka, chugging it straight out of the bottle, like I would drink water on a hot day. One has to wonder if that sort of behavior didn’t contribute to his death.
MOVIE REVIEW: THE ANIMATRIX (2003) * * * * (4 stars out of 4).
This is about the best movie I’ve seen since, well, the Matrix. It is far better than The Matrix: Reloaded. It is actually very reminiscent of the 1981 Heavy Metal movie, which I loved, but I think The Animatrix is even better.
The Animatrix is a series of several short animated stories that tell the back-story of the Matrix. The strongest pieces are at the beginning, and the ones at the end are just okay. But the first few are absolutely amazing. It is truly a beautiful work of art, well-written and wonderfully rendered. It is rich, bold, imaginative, frightening, and enlightening.
I kind of figured that if it were really any good, it would have been in the theater, instead of going straight to video, especially with all the hype about The Matrix: Reloaded. But in fact, The Animatrix is simply one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.
I do think, however, that I made a big mistake by not seeing it on drugs. I think you’re definitely supposed to be on drugs when you see it.
OH, THAT IS, LIKE, SO GAY.
I just got back from the gay pride parade today. It’s always a very joyful event, but I expected it to be especially celebratory this year because of the Supreme Court’s decision last week legalizing consensual gay sex for adults in every state in the US. But I didn’t get that sense at all. It certainly was a celebration. But maybe people made their signs too far in advance, because I got much more of a sense of protestation this year than in years past, and it was, frankly, a little off-putting. Here I was, feeling very excited to be right where I was on this of all days, in the wake of this incredible moment in the history of gay rights, and seeing these signs saying “This is a protest, not a parade!” and “Gay Rights Now!” really kind of brought me down a little. I mean, the point is well taken that gay rights advocates need to continue the struggle for equal treatment. Same-sex marriage still has to be legalized. Lesbians, gay men and transgendered people need to be protected from employment and housing discrimination. And around the country, there is still a big fight ahead to be fought against old-fashioned attitudes. But can’t we take just a few hours to celebrate the incredible achievements of the past week, which surpass and are the culmination of every other achievement in the gay rights movement in America?
Again, don’t get me wrong– the overall theme of the parade was very positive and celebratory. But not even as much as I remember it being last year when there wasn’t nearly as much to celebrate.
BOOK REVIEW: LIVING HISTORY by HILLARY CLINTON (2003) 1/2 (1/2 a star out of 4).
I’ve got nothing against Hillary Clinton. I voted for her for Senate, and I’d certainly vote for her if she were to become the Democratic candidate for President against George W. Bush. But this is just not a good book. It reads like a children’s book, except with the word “Republicans” substituted for “scary monsters.” She makes everything sound so simple and one-sided, with the Democrats always on the side of right, and the Republicans always on the side of greed or pettiness or evil. But I certainly remember that at the time a real debate was happening, even if the Democrats might have had the better of the argument. The book is boring, uninsightful, unrevealing, and totally self-serving. Whether you like Hillary Clinton or not, this is just not a good book to read.
BOWERS V. HARDWICK OVERTURNED!
Although I am a lawyer, I don’t have a political blog or a legal blog or a news blog, and I don’t want to, but this really seems like it needs commenting on by me– not that plenty of people aren’t commenting on it already.
I’ve always felt that Bowers v. Hardwick, the 1986 Supreme Court decision upholding a Georgia statute outlawing consensual sex between same-sex couples, was the Dred Scott or Plessy v. Ferguson of our time. That is, it’s a case that was so obviously wrongly decided that future generations would look back on it with disgust. So, today’s landmark decision in Lawrence v. Texas, to me, goes a long way toward restoring the legitimacy of the Supreme Court after Bush v. Gore, particularly given its conservative make-up right now.
I think it’s also really interesting and cool that this comes literally on the eve of the 34th anniversary of the start of the Stonewall riots on June 27, 1969, which is widely seen as the start of the gay rights movement.
This should make the Greenwich Village Gay Pride parade this Sunday quite a celebration to see indeed.
THE BEST YOU CAN HOPE FOR.
I am lately finding it difficult not to think about this:
You remember the most sick you ever were? Well, unless you should have the misfortune to be hit by a bus, you’re going to get that sick again, and then you’re going to get much sicker, and then you’re going to keep getting sicker like that for a year or two or three or more. And then you’re going to die. Because that’s how it is when people die.
I’m 32. I wouldn’t be all that terribly unlucky if I’m already halfway there, and I’d be quite very lucky to be only a third of the way there. And if I am unlucky, then it could very well start tomorrow. It kind of makes me not want to have children. Why do that to someone I care about? Sure, there’s a whole lot of good along with the bad, but then why not just adopt?
NO TIPS FOR A BEND OVER.
This crazy message, photocopied from a page written in black magic marker with sloppy handwriting, is in the window of almost every newspaper machine within five blocks of my apartment, which is right around the corner from Flashdancers, a “gentlemen’s club,” which I have never visited.
The message states:
—–
BOYCOTT FLAHDANCERS ON BROADWAY
They are a White Slavery taking local women and throwing local men in the street. Connected with most clubs in N.Y. they restrict social activity so all men have got to pay. Also using the topless club to introduce and behavior [sic] the women into prostitution. This all takes place as the AIDS VIRUS is their leading cause of death. If you must enter remember its [sic] suppose [sic] to be toppless [sic] dancing not topless bend over. NO Tips for a bend over.
—–
So remember, kids, if you tip for a bend over, that’s white slavery.
Actually, I was once walking past that place on my way home, and I saw some well-dressed guys arguing with the doorman about money. So while they are peacefully arguing over their genuine disagreement, a bouncer from inside came behind one of the guys and shoved him to the ground, breaking one of the guy’s teeth. The police happened past (as they often do in Times Square), and I gave them a statement about what I saw, as did the guy and his friends, but I don’t think the cops did anything.
So, yeah, actually, don’t go there.
THE TIVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED.
I went to “Tivolution,” a party hosted by Tivo down in the meat packing district in Manhattan. It was themed after the 1964 New York World’s Fair, and was called the Tivo 2003 New York World’s Fair. There were free hot dogs and mocha drinks and popcorn and cotton candy and beer and alcoholic pink lemonade. There were displays of the new Tivo Series 2, which I have not seen, even though my parents have one. It has a lot of nice new features. But I kind of feel like I should hold out for the HDTV Tivo which has recently been made as a prototype. But actually, people seemed much more into the free food and drinks than the product. I really don’t see what Tivo gets out of throwing this party. I got to go free because a friend of mine works for the PR firm that set it up.
SO, WHAT LANGUAGE IS THIS ONE?
A blog entry titled Alla älskar en folkmassa utan syfte eller riktning! links to my site. (Click on it for the full article.) Anybody know what language this is or what the article says?
WELCOME, MR. PRESIDENT TO OUR FAIR CITY.
There was a huge protest around the corner from my apartment in front of the Sheraton New York, where the President appeared for 15 minutes at a $2000 per person fundraiser. He was expected to raise more money this week than all the Democratic candidates put together have raised so far, on his way to a record-breaking quarter-billion dollar campaign fund.
Anyway, the thing that was striking to me was that all these thousands of people were out there to shout protest slogans and what have you, but I didn’t see one single person who was just out there to catch a glimpse of the president, and welcome him to New York. I mean, you’d think that one person in the metro New York area would admire the President and want to just maybe see him go by in person for a second.
VIVA LA INTERNET REVOLUCION.
A Portugese language Web site linked to my Flash Mob story.
HOW I INVITED SOME FRIENDS TO VISIT ME:
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NOW WHERE DID I PUT MY PUBLISHER’S NUMBER?
I just had kind of a funny book idea. The main character always or frequently has that cliche of a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other– or maybe he or she just talks directly to God and the Devil. But the hook is this: the advice given by God or the angel is difficult to follow and doesn’t always make a whole lot of sense. By contrast, the Devil is brilliant tempter, whose logic is compelling and seemingly flawless.
I don’t come to this idea out of disrespect for God or religion. But, in fact, this conception is more like our traditional notions of good and the Devil. That is, doing what’s right involves sacrifice, and it is not always for us to understand the methods of God. But the devil is supposed to offer real temptation by appealing not only to our basest desires, but also to our brilliant ability to rationalize away the evil that we do.
So, maybe our main character is considering whether to have sex with his girlfriend, and the angel on his shoulder says something like, “Yes, you love her and you plan to spend your life with her, but unless your relationship is sanctioned officially by the church in the form of a marriage then it’s a sin.” But then the devil says, “Hey, what about King Henry the eighth who had all his marriages annulled and his wives murdered so that he could keep having sex with different women– that was sanctioned by the church. How can that be right and this be wrong? What about men who abuse their wives? How can that be sanctioned by the church and this not be? And what about lesbians and gay men, what are they supposed to do? The church won’t sanction their relationships, and that can’t be right. Your not a homophobic bigot are you? And what about all those poor little boys molested by priests in the same churches where so many weddings were performed? All you and your girlfriend want to do is consecrate your love for each other. You’re adults, you’re in love, you’re both disease-free, and you’re monogamous. Sex is a basic human need and it’s unhealthy to deny it.” And then the angel replies, “Well, that’s not what it says in the Bible.”
It’s sort of a modern day Candide.
TRADEMARK FRINGEMENT.
When I was in law school, one of the rules I learned is that you can never copyright, trademark, or otherwise protect a font. You can protect your individual logo, but if I want to copy the font you used to create your logo to make a different logo, I can and you can’t stop me. This was really drilled into our heads– no matter what you can’t protect a font.
But at the same time, some trademarks consist only of individual letters. If you can’t protect a whole font, how can you protect just one letter? Or, if you can protect one letter, why can’t you protect 26 letters?
So, I wondered, what if you made a font, and every letter in the font individually infringed on someone’s trademark? For example, the M is the big yellow golden arches from McDonalds; the K is the big red K from K-Mart; the C is the stylized C with a long squiggly underline from Coca-Cola; and so on.
Apparently artist Heidi Cody created this art installation, along these same lines, though probably not while thinking about this interesting intersection of conflicting legal rules. Of course, an art installation would probably be fair use, even if it did incorporate someone else’s trademarks. But suppose you turned that into a font, and used it to make your own corporate logo or what have you? I just don’t know the answer, and I don’t think anybody does.
THE FLASH MOB.
Sean S.‘s cheesebikini.com offers this great article (including pictures) of yesterday’s Flash Mob in Manhattan.
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